Ding dong ding dong

I’m back, and should post more, or so I keep telling myself.Okay, so since last September I have been to 4 weddings. I just got word from my best friend from 3rd through 12th grade that he is about to pop the question to his girlfriend, the day before my birthday. I guess everyone is now in that race to get married before they hit 30. Strangely enough, even though I’ve known him for years, and he told me what’s going to happen before he pops the question, I doubt I’ll be invited.

Not the topic I thought I would make my comeback with, but hell, why not.

The weddings I’ve been to in the past year:
Igor: The most non-wedding I’ve ever been to. My brother performed the ceremony after the bride and groom were so hammered that they couldn’t think of any reason to dely the ceremony. Very informal, only friends around, very much for the friends and less for anyone else.
Russell: This had elements for the family, with the formal tone, the formal reception, white dress, etc etc. With the exception of the complete lack of religion, this would have seemed like a pretty typical wedding. There was definitely something for everyone in this ceremony though.
Nash: Typical religious wedding. Frankly, it weirded me out… a lot. Nash seemed, well very Nash, but the guests around my age seemed equally estranged as I, which explains why we all left right after the brunch without mingling. This was very much for Elsa and the parents.
Megan and Jim: Very non-traditional, and really nice. It wasn’t stuffy, like Nash’s or even like Russell’s at times, just relaxed. At the same time it was ordered, which was something Igors lacked. Having Owen perform the ceremony made everything seem that much more intimate, a flavor Igors had. Everything seemed to be for Megan and Jim, and if other people got something out of it, all the better.

What Mr. Deyring’s is going to be like, I haven’t the foggiest, and I probably won’t ever know.

I think that weddings should be for:
1) The Bride and Groom
2) The Family
3) The Friends

5 Responses to “Ding dong ding dong”

Welcome back (and you should post more! )!

I guess some people feel the formality of a wedding makes it feel more “official” or “lasting”. I certainly know that a feeling of *ritual* seems to be something that most people crave (myself included. I’ll admit).

Honestly, my personal list would put Family and Friends above Bride/Groom. The couple already knows about their love, and presumably celebrates it everyday. The ritual is to let others officially appreciate that love, and cheer them on.

Speaking of everyone getting married before 30– what is the percentage of lifetime bachelors in the US, anyway?

Paradoxdruid - August 26th, 2005 at 6:25 pm

Well, since my handfasting was included, I guess I should comment. 🙂 I feel like a wedding is supposed to be about the couple. It’s a way for the couple to show their friends and family what their relationship means to them- not to other people. It’s a way for them to define themselves so that others may see this definition. That’s why it drives me crazy when family and friends (usually family) meddle in weddings. It’s not about control and the family, it’s about the couple.

To me a wedding is a public declaration of two people’s love for one another. If a wedding isn’t about the couple, I’m not sure you should even call it a wedding. The couple should get to invite people that are important to them and, if these people really value the couple, they won’t care how the couple expresses their love. Truth be told, the meddling that took place before my handfasting (though it mostly came from a single individual) was enough to make me want to call the damned thing off and go to the courthouse, just the two of us, with no witnesses.

Finally, I really don’t get why some people feel that extended family should be invited. For example, if you haven’t seen your cousins in ten years, have nothing in common with them, and maybe don’t like them that much, why should you buy them a meal? If you’re close to your extended family I see it. But if you’re not close to them and your mom or sister or whatever is, why should you have to invite them?

As for racing into marriage before 30, I was not! I love Jim and it felt right. I wish more people would approach it that way . . . but I also wonder what the percentage of lifetime bachelors/ettes is.

ShortSpeedFreak - September 3rd, 2005 at 11:37 am

Just FYI- I looked at some Census data to satisfy my curiosity.

If I’m reading the tables correctly, about 5% of male-female households in America are unmarried.

Among caucasians, by the age of 30, 28% of males have never married, while only 17% of females have never married. So it’s not QUITE a race to 30… it’s more a race to 40, at which time about 90% of the population has been married. Oh, and only about 3% are never married.

Paradoxdruid - September 8th, 2005 at 2:27 pm

Got some tasty links there?

Teisha - September 8th, 2005 at 3:32 pm

I got it all from the US Census Bureau American FactFinder

You should check it out, lots of interesting factoids!

Paradoxdruid - September 8th, 2005 at 10:08 pm

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