Deer Tag

So I’ve been thinking about Mighty Hunters, using their big frickin’ guns to shoot animals from a hundred yards while sitting in comfortably padded hunting blinds (and generally thinking of the African and Amer-Indian tribes who use blow darts and home-made bows and arrows to do their killing as weaker people).  I want to start a new sport: Deer Tag.

  As Jim once pointed out to me, humans are the best creatures at running long distances.  So, sure, your deer can get away in short bursts, but you can run him down.  I was listening to a woman marathon runner on the Olympics say that humans are running fifty and a hundred miles these days.  I bet a deer can’t go nearly that far (actually, I’d be surprised at five or ten miles of constant pursuit).

So first I’m going to need to learn how to track deer and identify single deer in large groups (NPR had a commentary by a guy who tried this with an antelope and he couldn’t distinguish it from the herds it kept running in to).  And I’m gonna have to get some good endurance running skills.  Then I’m going to play deer tag, get pictures (so somebody will have to do this with me) and take pictures.

Okay, not really, I’m lazy and slovenly and most people I know are.  But wouldn’t it be cool if you could keep a picture of you sitting next to a live, unharmed, but exhausted deer with your blue-paint hand print on its side so that any time somebody had a moose head or something they shot while drinking beer you could whip that out and be like “Yeah, bitch.”

You know, as long as I’m working at getting in shape and have to exercise daily (which I’ll be doing eventually :-D) I could have a pretty unique goal to tell people (and my shrink).

6 Responses to “Deer Tag”

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Counting coup on deer. That’s awesome. >-)

You should get Trey to join you, since she’s been training for a marathon of some sort. Personally, though, I’d get exhausted before the deer. I’ve never been a long-distance runner.

Paradoxdruid - August 23rd, 2004 at 11:48 am

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So just get close enough to have your picture taken near it. Andrew and I figured out that is probably the best idea, since deer kick.
And you DO run the risk of getting attacked, which makes the achievement all the more MANLY.

Owen - August 24th, 2004 at 9:37 am

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I think running down a dear to the point where you could actually touch it would cause the dear some serious stress. I would guess that you would have 30% or more chance of the dear dying do said stress. I mean they are nervous animals anyway. I wonder how often dear dying of an anerism….hmmm… research project

gilvoro - August 23rd, 2004 at 10:48 pm

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there you go gilvoro, destroying another person’s dream 😉

mallorn - August 23rd, 2004 at 11:07 pm

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Not destroying it– turning it into a government-funded research project!

Paradoxdruid - August 23rd, 2004 at 11:15 pm

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ok I’ll go for that

Gilvoro - August 24th, 2004 at 8:29 pm

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