Sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine, I HATE sandwiches, I eat them all the time

Something is bothering me. Something insidious, devious and beloved by many… and for once I’m not talking about Disney. I’m talking about sandwiches.

Lately I have been packing on weight. Why? Because I eat delicious delicious rice garden all the time for lunch, and I work ludacris hours so I don’t ever get off my ass and do anything physical. So I have decided to seize control of my body and start getting myself back in shape (plus rice garden was chewing on my budget).

Therefore the first thing to do was axe the chinese. What do I use to replace my beloved MSG-soaked lunch, start packing sandwiches. They’re quick and easy, and have a great deal of variety: breads, meats, condiments. However when i started to eat these sandwiches I found despite all the variety they all taste essentially the same.

Then it dawned on me. Sandwich is the lowest form of food. What is the end form of meat in cafeterias? Sloppy Joe’s. What do you do with the thanksgiving leftovers? Put them inbetween two slices of bread. It is the end catch basin of food. Not particularly bad, but just asonishingly mediocre.

If you don’t agree with me think of it this way. I ask you if you want to get some prime rib, where do you thinjk we’re going to go? A.J. Spurs, maybe if you are thinking big… Holdrens.

Now lets say I add the word sandwich to the end of it. “Would you like to get a prime rib sandwich?” Now where are we going? Quiznos! If the sandwich form can actively devalue a particular cut of meat there is no telling what end of damage a sandwich can do to the rest of the food world.

So the next time you pick up a loaf of bread at the store think for a second to what you are doing to your meats, vegetables and condiments of your choice. That being said… I’m going to go make my sandwich for tomorrow’s lunch.

2 Responses to “Sandwiches are beautiful, sandwiches are fine, I HATE sandwiches, I eat them all the time”

This post made me deliciously happy. Sandwiches are pretty much as low as you can go– but at least you get a meal! I mostly eat sandwich components for lunch– a hard boiled egg, maybe some cheese.

That said, I have a big tolerance for tuna sandwiches– I ate them every day for 6 years.

My current sandwich secret? Peanut butter and nutella sandwiches. Mmm.

Paradoxdruid - April 28th, 2008 at 9:57 pm

We used to do sandwiches for a while — I used to make a bunch of normal cheese and meat sandwiches and freeze them, then they’d thaw during the day while kept at room temperature until they’d be ready to eat (usually) by lunch time. But, as you can imagine, it grew unappetizing. We tried to change it up with spices and such, but it still wasn’t great.

What we eventually settled on for our normal, daily packed lunches was a combination of lunch “sides” mostly from CostCo, with some from the farmer’s market. They’re healthy, cheaper than buying lunches, and mostly require little preparation time (and no microwaving). Currently, this is what we’re usually eating:

  • * One or two BabyBel mini-cheeses
  • * Some “nut snacks,” or about a dozen clusters of cashews (we’ve changed this up over time to trail mix or other nut assortments)
  • * A hard-boiled egg (eggs from the farmer’s market, boiled by me) — we’re getting a bit tired of them and may try adding salt or something
  • * Yogurt (we’ve tried a few different varieties as we got tired of some.. I prefer vanilla flavored ones)
  • * A Naked juice (we go for the probiotic ones)
  • * Orange juice
  • * Snap peas or other veggies/fruits (from the farmer’s market)

That’s about it. I wish we’d have more veggies — we often forget them… We occasionally throw in some leftovers too, but that’s pretty rare. So, if there are any “sides” you think would be a good addition, I’d love to hear about them.

What do other people eat for lunch?

teisha - April 29th, 2008 at 3:40 pm

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